Week four is in the books. And both of us have very different things that we wanted to share with you all. So this post will be a bit more segregated than our last one. Ladies first;]
While reading Facebook earlier this week, I read a post about someone celebrating success by losing weight. I was so happy for them and excited that they were achieving their goals in a healthy and positive way. My second reaction was to scold myself for not losing weight… And this is where my post begins.
I will state this right here, right now. I love the gym. As if you didn’t know that already…. What you may not know is that I haven’t always had a positive relationship with physical activity. I’ve had a long journey with physical activity, starting with playing competitive soccer at a young age. [This is definitely why I have such a strong love for cardio.] Eventually I stopped playing and life changed for me. I became obsessed with how much food I was consuming, how many calories I had burned, weighing myself multiple times a day and when it became too much I would simply say “fuck it” and eat myself into oblivion. It was punishment for not being strong enough to keep within the rigid regime I had created for myself. This eventually led into a sick binging and purging cycle… For years I thought this was how my life would be. Food and physical activity as both reward and punishment. Never ending. I eventually got help and had to do A LOT of work on myself and my disordered way of thinking. Thought patterns that I had been following for years I had to undo. There were times when I just wanted to go back to my old ways because that was safe and known. But the reward of being free of my eating disorder was was far greater than those old habits.
Fast forward to today. Like I said, I love the gym. I love running, sweating, (sometimes cycling) playing sports, stretching, and yoga. I have a solid relationship with food. [In fact, I LOVE food. Both healthy and not so healthy.] The most important thing I’ve learned is that food is food. And exercise is exercise. They do not make me a better or worse person, and they are most definitely not punishment. Same with my weight. It just is. And that’s how it should be.
So coming back to what started this whole post. Losing weight can be a success. I do not want to take that away from anyone. But losing weight is secondary to moving more, making healthier eating choices, sweating out doing an activity you love and just making small changes to improve your well being. These are all successes too. I had to remind myself of all of these things when I really just wanted to beat myself up for not losing weight while doing this program. It was one of the things that I was nervous about before committing to Push Ups to Pinups… Would these detrimental thoughts all come back? Would they consume me again? How would I not focus on only the appearance of my body as opposed to the physical capabilities? Well, there are days when I feel so confident in my body and how it performs and other days it is a struggle to not compare myself to others and their successes along the way.
I have set some precautions for myself:
I am not allowed to weigh or measure myself other than the two week intervals (with Jason)
I keep a note posted by my measurements” These do not make you a better or worse person”
When I am hungry, I eat. Being proud of being hungry is not something I want to celebrate.
When I start talking about my physique or something completely surface level…
I have friends and family who will simply tell me to “shut up” or will graciously change the subject.
These are how I manage myself and my disorder. You may do things similarly or completely different. But whatever your back story is, no matter how you have dealt with body image, food, weight, appearances, and physical activity I hope you celebrate the successes that are healthy and helpful to your life. xo mckenzie
Culture drives Habits
Habits drive Behaviour
Behaviour Drives Results
This is a quote i wanted to take very literal within this program. It resonated with me on so many levels. I have such a great group of people around me, what with all the amazing clients we have, supportive family and friends and a wonderful girlfriend who is on this program with me. Like I’ve stated in the previous post i wanted to do this program to the best of my abilities. I want to create a healthier lifestyle to maintain, in hopes that by doing so, results will follow. So far so good, FYI.
So, since the last post I went on a boys trip out to Minneapolis to go see the Jets play the Wild. I know what everyone is thinking, “he must have cheated the whole time”, “how do you go on a trip while being on a fitness plan?”. Well I’ll tell you that i didn’t cheat the entire time. I found out a few things while on set trip: gas stations carry horrible hard boiled egg packs and less then stellar veggie packs, Subway can do a fairly good breakfast salad(depending on the mood you’re in), and choosing vodka water +lemon/lime over my love of all beer and infatuation with Rum; isn’t as bad as one would think. I did however falter and have 2 pieces of pizza(shakes head in disappointment). The reason I’m telling everyone about this is because you can take a trip while being on a strict eating and exercise plan. The gym in the hotel was awesome, but oh so hard to watch your friends in the hot tub with Rum while you do your cardio and lift. But “you get out of this program (G2G) what you put into it” is what i tell everyone, so i put my head down and went to work.
This past month has been a huge eye opener for me, from learning how my body functions on the eating plan to how to food prep and live life on this plan. Since i’ve started eating cleaner I feel better when i wake up (less stomach issues), way less gassy, I am hungry all the time but thats because i am doing so much more activity and am starting to feel way more energized throughout the day. Eating clean isn’t all that hard if you can make things creative with your eating. Food prep is essential to the success of your program (to be honest Mckenzie does a lot of this for me). Who wants to get home late at night and have to start making something healthy, I personally would have rathered thrown in a pizza. Make things easy on yourself and spend some time making things you enjoy beforehand or at least do the brunt of it before that way you don’t have to resort to convenient not great for you food.
I’ve also learnt what the hardest part about this program is going to be for me. While the majority of people come to the gym either before or after work to de-stress, i find it hard to motivate and de-stress myself. While the convenience factor is there for us trainers, sometimes its tough knowing that either before or after a workout you will still be in the gym for an 8 hour time span. Thanks to everyone who have been there to get on my ass about it and use my unique motivational tactics on me.